March 10 2023 (archive)

Having a puppy is great. They are cute, they want to cuddle, and they make you feel like you are the most important person who has ever walked this earth. Owning a puppy is great until the puppy thinks he is the boss. Then owning a puppy means having a power struggle with a little furry creature that lives in your house. Fezzick and I had a chat today. I told him “ I am the boss and I don’t negotiate with terrorists.” Fezzick said that he believes that he should have total access to his food, be allowed on any furniture, and feels that English is old fashioned and that we should howl at each other to communicate. Some of his other demands include but are not limited to: more bones to be purchased and left in various rooms, steak for breakfast on Mondays and Thursdays, and 2 hours everyday at noon of belly rubs before playing in the mud and then naps. My reply was, “ I am the boss, and I don’t negotiate with terrorists.” I then rubbed his belly and tied him to a post.